Kyle Juszczyk Is Offensive and Perhaps Stupid
Kyle Juszczyk, no one wants to see your sorry ass.
I write this because this Juice guy wants media out of the locker room – the Players Association idiotically has asked for media to be banned from the locker room. And Juice specifically wants Grant Cohn, my son, banned from the locker room.
Juice wrote on X about the idea of banishing media from the locker room: “Maybe we can keep @grantcohn from always hanging around our lockers while we’re changing.”
So much to unpack from that moronic quote. I mean can a man this stupid graduate from Harvard?
He is insinuating Grant is gay, I guess. I’ve known Grant his whole life and can testify he’s heterosexual. But I shouldn’t have to do that. In the Bay Area, where we all live, Kyle, it’s OK to be gay. Or haven’t you noticed? Are you one of those dumb jocks who thinks gay people have no place in sports or in he-man locker rooms? Shame on you.
I’ve been in that locker room more than you. No media members – not a single one – hangs around a player’s locker while he changes. The protocol is to stand in the middle of the room and look the other way. You know that. You just wrote what you wrote to be a jerk.
And I’ll tell you something else, Juiceroo. By singling out Grant from all the other media who show up daily at your practices and then appear on game day, it shows Grant got under your skin. Has gotten the best of you without even trying. It shows Grant is on your mind when football should be on your mind 24/7. You lost a contest with Grant that Grant didn’t even know he was in. Dumb jock.
And why is Grant on your mind? Because he has been blunt about you. He does not portray you as you’d like, a savvy veteran essential to the 49ers Super Bowl hopes. Get serious. You are a relic from a bygone football era, an anachronism. (Surely, you learned that last word at Harvard rah rah. If not, look it up.) Almost no one uses fullbacks anymore. You get the ball a miniscule amount of time, but mostly you jump around before plays and block for real running backs. Grant said Jauan Jennings should play more than you and he’s right.
Oh, but after the game is when you shine. You are sort of the team spokesman, the head tonsil -- Harvard rah rah – because you are reasonably articulate, and media go to you for the so-called BIG PICTURE. You are a big-picture explainer, that’s your role. Nothing glorious about that.
It’s shabby to write crummy things about Grant because you feel diminished and exposed for what you are.
As for the Players Association wanting to keep media out of the locker room, Juice, let me explain the real reality like maybe one of your profs might have done. The NFLPA says media invades players’ privacy. Media has been in big-league locker rooms in baseball, basketball, football, hockey, you name it, before you were born. Before your parents were born.
Why?
Because media conveys news and opinions from and about the team to the public, the public that pays your salary – you are overpaid for what you give. By the way, the word media is related to medium which means in the middle. Like between large and small in clothes, or a medium who speaks to the living from the dead. Media is in the middle between the team and fans. Got that?
And without the media you and your team and your league would be nothing, some semi-pro beer league playing Sundays in Sandusky, Ohio. Or you’d be a librarian in Cambridge, Mass.
The Players Association also says the locker room will be “safer” without the media. Safer? Has Matt Maiocco ever punched Brock Purdy in the jaw? Has Eric Branch ever wrestled Deebo Samuel to the ground? I don’t recall ever sucker-punching Joe Montana when we talked in the locker room. I mean, what kind of safety are we talking about?
The NFLPA means media won’t make players uncomfortable by asking direct questions. Well, as we used to say in Brooklyn, tough shit. Be standup guys. Answer a hard question if it’s a fair question. The Players Association is coddling the players like they are eleven-year-olds.
But the NFLPA has its heart in the right place, that’s what it wants you to believe. It swears players will offer themselves outside the sanctity of the locker room maybe in the corridor or wherever and submit to questions – even if a certain player made a play that led to a loss, I guess. If this NFLPA idea ever comes to pass it will be the end of player interviews. Can you imagine Brandon Aiyuk saying to Kyle Shanahan, “Hey coach, I wanna do an interview in the hallway with my great buddies from the media?” Aiyuk would be a ghost. He may be one already.
My parting words to you, Juice, and to the Players Association are simple and direct: Grow up.
Brother actually got so mad he called his daddy to write an article whining for him
This response is overly harsh and makes some baseless assumptions. First, there's no clear evidence that Juice’s comment insinuates anything about Grant’s sexuality. Jumping to that conclusion seems like projecting rather than addressing the actual content of the statement.
Next, the personal attacks on Juice—calling him a "dumb jock" or implying he’s insecure about his role—are unnecessary and undermine the argument. Criticism is fair, but when it turns into name-calling, it loses credibility.
You also dismiss the NFLPA’s concerns about locker room privacy far too easily. It’s not just about physical safety; it could be about emotional and psychological well-being. The locker room is an intimate space, and players deserve some boundaries.
While media is important in sports, suggesting that without it the NFL would turn into a “semi-pro beer league” is an exaggeration. Times have changed, and athletes now communicate directly with fans through social media. The idea that players need the media to exist feels outdated.
Lastly, the tone here is unnecessarily aggressive and condescending. There’s a way to critique the issue without turning it into personal mockery. Both athletes and journalists deserve mutual respect, and that should be the focus of the discussion.