I've definitely been guilty of falling into the habit of replying with "no problem." My intention is to express that there's no need to thank me—that it's my pleasure to help. But I realize now that it can be perceived differently by others, and it does come across as a bit of a lazy, casual response. Thank you for the insight. I'm going to make a conscious effort to switch to saying "you're welcome" or "my pleasure" instead.
Anyhow, this observation reminds me of something I learned in my 20s, that one should avoid saying "sorry" all the time. That's because it calls the other party to move into caretaking mode for one's feelings. Instead, they said use "I apologize" or "I regret". That worked for me for decades, until the popular texting term "sry" came into play. Now it's not so clear, but it's always clear to me in conversation when someone is calling you to care for their emotions.
And that's why I love your interplay with Grant - you two are clear about the emotional exchanges and also, you love language.
The good news that we geezers- or what your restaurant server would probably refer to as our "cohort" - lived through the greatest decades in the history of humankind, when common courtesies like "please" and "thank you" were, well, common. The bad news is that now we collectively face the imminent collapse of civilization amid ever-rising nihilism, so, well, meh...
A much overused word I hear constantly is 'like.' At least out here where I live. And I'm not talking about LA but DC. Our nation's Capital, for God's sake. Before I moved here, I fed my car to the cat, and I rely on our wonderful Metro. When on the subway, I often overhear conversations--or at least bits and pieces. 'Like' appears in practically every other sentence. I'm a boomer too, and it drives me nuts. If that word wasn't used at all, it would make no difference. For example, a boy was talking to a girl sitting within earshot, and he was telling her of a crush he had on another person. "She was, like, so cute and everything." I cringed. "I'm telling you, like, she was so fine." More cringing. In fairness he might have been in his late teens, yet when I was that age I might have said, "She was so cute and foxy." I'd combine sentences and and trim unnecessary fat. I'd cut to the chase. After all, we're talking about foxes. Hendrix was quite popular then, too.
Yet in fairness I often use 'No worries' instead of 'No problem'. Plus instead of saying "Excuse me", I'll say, "Sorry", which is a British form of expression that I adopted.
Not a Boomer take. I used to work in service. I would respond with "my pleasure". I was tipped much better and had more pleasant interactions as a result.
I'm clearly dating myself, but "my pleasure" would be my instinctive response to the situation you described.
In Australia, the equivalent to "no problem" seems to be "no worries, mate", which I initially found amusing, but eventually grew to think, "I wasn't worried, I just wanted a new fork!"
I've definitely been guilty of falling into the habit of replying with "no problem." My intention is to express that there's no need to thank me—that it's my pleasure to help. But I realize now that it can be perceived differently by others, and it does come across as a bit of a lazy, casual response. Thank you for the insight. I'm going to make a conscious effort to switch to saying "you're welcome" or "my pleasure" instead.
Hi Lowell, I'm a fan of yours and Grant's.
Anyhow, this observation reminds me of something I learned in my 20s, that one should avoid saying "sorry" all the time. That's because it calls the other party to move into caretaking mode for one's feelings. Instead, they said use "I apologize" or "I regret". That worked for me for decades, until the popular texting term "sry" came into play. Now it's not so clear, but it's always clear to me in conversation when someone is calling you to care for their emotions.
And that's why I love your interplay with Grant - you two are clear about the emotional exchanges and also, you love language.
The good news that we geezers- or what your restaurant server would probably refer to as our "cohort" - lived through the greatest decades in the history of humankind, when common courtesies like "please" and "thank you" were, well, common. The bad news is that now we collectively face the imminent collapse of civilization amid ever-rising nihilism, so, well, meh...
Just to let you know Lowell, I read your post, and as far as I'm concerned, it was no.problem😁.
A much overused word I hear constantly is 'like.' At least out here where I live. And I'm not talking about LA but DC. Our nation's Capital, for God's sake. Before I moved here, I fed my car to the cat, and I rely on our wonderful Metro. When on the subway, I often overhear conversations--or at least bits and pieces. 'Like' appears in practically every other sentence. I'm a boomer too, and it drives me nuts. If that word wasn't used at all, it would make no difference. For example, a boy was talking to a girl sitting within earshot, and he was telling her of a crush he had on another person. "She was, like, so cute and everything." I cringed. "I'm telling you, like, she was so fine." More cringing. In fairness he might have been in his late teens, yet when I was that age I might have said, "She was so cute and foxy." I'd combine sentences and and trim unnecessary fat. I'd cut to the chase. After all, we're talking about foxes. Hendrix was quite popular then, too.
Yet in fairness I often use 'No worries' instead of 'No problem'. Plus instead of saying "Excuse me", I'll say, "Sorry", which is a British form of expression that I adopted.
Go figure.
Not a Boomer take. I used to work in service. I would respond with "my pleasure". I was tipped much better and had more pleasant interactions as a result.
I'm clearly dating myself, but "my pleasure" would be my instinctive response to the situation you described.
In Australia, the equivalent to "no problem" seems to be "no worries, mate", which I initially found amusing, but eventually grew to think, "I wasn't worried, I just wanted a new fork!"
"No worries" is also more prevalent than "no problem" in northeast US.
After this article, mulling a personal transition to "de nada."
in the picture dictionary, there is a picture of this article right next to the word "pedantic."
Much ado about nothing. And I’m 76.